March
26
I
don't want to get too political here, but I can't resist hopping
on the whole debate about Canada not supporting the U.S.
First,
I'd like to point out that not every point I make is of my
own creation... it's a conglomeration of the spouting I've
heard that I agree with. So there.
Where
was Canada when you asked for their help? We were right here
saying "You sure you want to poke that bees nest with
a stick Joe?"
When
I was a kid, there was this guy who teased me. Lots of people
teased me in very unplesant ways. Perhaps teasing isn't the
right word. Picked on me might be better. Anyway, there was
this one guy who picked on me for a couple years. Then he
stopped. He finally started to ignore me.
We
weren't supposed to hang out indoors during lunch and recess.
But I did, mostly because I just didn't want to go out on
the playground, historically being an easy target. Not much
had happened to me in ages, but mostly because I'd been hiding
out inside.
So
when I was finally caught indoors by a teacher, I began crying
and said that I was hanging out inside to avoid this one antagonizer
who in fact had left me alone for several months. Net result:
I was let off the hook, and he was called into the office.
But suddenly I was on his shit list again. Not that it wasn't
likely that I would have been on his shit list again; just
that it put me back on his radar.
I
think the U.S. started finding itself in trouble with not
finding Osama, and the economy hitting the shitter. So they
decided to cast their blame to another rational and reasonable
target. It's not that I think Saddam doesn't have WMS, just
that I didn't see the huge urgency. Yeah, we all know he hasn't
lived up to his part of the bargain. But he was never issued
a real ultimatum.
If
I forgot to pay my taxes, and the government came to me and
said "Do your taxes immediately or we will begin legal
proceedings" I'd start at it, but might be more likely
distracted by other tasks than if I had deadlines. I wouldn't
have the same type of urgency as I would with "Complete
your T1 for 2001 and send it to our Sudbury office by April
1 2003. Failure to do so will result in the garnishing of
your wages as of April 30 2003, continuing until we collect
the sum of $2309, the amount we estimate owed to the Government
of Canada based on historical earnings."
Yeah.
In university we were taught to have smart goals:
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
and
Time-bound.
I
think (and this is more of an assumption since I haven't sat
down and read either 1441 or the Canadian proposal) that Canada
put forth a SMART plan, and no one bothered to even consider
it. Fuckers.
But
of course I've gotten off track. That's not unusual for this
kind of rant. I was giving true-life examples of handling
conflict, and my experiences. Another example: My friend had
been dating this guy for several years, and he proposed. She
said yes, and asked me to be her maid of honour. Mind you,
I'd heard all of the bad relationship crap they'd gone through,
and I was totally against the marriage. I asked her to give
me time to think. I called her back a week later and said
I would be her maid of honour, so long as she understood my
opinions on their relationship, and that she'd heard my views
over the last years. If it meant that much to her, I would
stand by her side to support her in her decision.
yeah,
nice story, but what's the freakin' point? Point is: I fought
it before, caved and said, I'll be there for you" even
though I thought it was the wrong thing for her to do. If
she asked me to be her maid of honour again, I'd likely say
no. (yeah, she's divorced... shocker!) Regardless of the man,
right now I'd defintiely decline to be her maid of honour
because she's into "getting married, having a family,
having kids..." I think she's just man-crazy, and her
motivations are all wrong.
Just
like the U.S. (thought I was way off there, eh? nope.) I think
the U.S. has gone a bit "fighting in our defense"
crazy. They feel like they're getting nowhere with the war
on terrorism. I think someone has realised that, if they ever
get Osama, they'll still feel a little like they haven't won
anything. So they need measurable results. They need a big
victory that they can display for the whole world to see.
Something G.W. can say "see what I did, ma?" that
his mom can put on the fridge door. They want an award, a
trophy, a gold star, at the very least, a certificate of participation.
So that's why they stirred up this sudden crisis to solve.
My kitchen cupboards have been a mess for months. I organized
them this weekend. Could have waited a week. Coulda waited
months. Just felt like having it done for a sense of accomplishment.
It's
not like we aren't there anyway. We have almost as many troops
there now as we had during the last gulf war. But we aren't
strutting around saying "Look, we're here and we brought
TimBits!" because we aren't convinced this is the right
thing. Later it may be the right thing to say we support.
But for their own good, we're better off positioning ourselves
at the best friend who disagrees on this one issue: timing.
So
we respect your opinion, but our differs. We aren't going
to openly support via the governmental channels. It ain't
the people, it's the governments doing all this, and disagreeing
on all these things. Like the stuff that the U.S. wasn't supportive
of Canada on, like Kyoto, softwood lumber, wheat subsidies,
BGH, and all that other stuff.
When
the chips were down on Afghanistan, we were there for you.
When the chips were down on 9-11, we opened our airspace so
you could close yours. Who knew how many planes would be left.
And sure, you may say "But when you had unidentified
planes flying overhead on 9-11, you called us to scramble."
Duh, yeah, because they could be heading for us or they could
be heading for you.
Later
on in this conflict, the chips might really be down for real.
And we'll be there. Allow me to use the metaphor Don Cherry
used so eloquently for my own purposes. In using this metaphor,
please understand I mean no disrespect for the lives of Americans,
Canadians, British, Australians, innocent witnesses (Iraqi
citizens, reporters, etc.) and any other living creatures
this metaphor may allude to:
The
barfight metaphor
You've had a brutal week and meet us at our watering hole.
You lost your job, your girlfriend left you and your dog died.
Bob, the guy who used to hit on your girl comes into the bar,
and you've been drinking.
You
decide to pick a fight with Bob. You really have hated each
other for a while, and no one in the bar is surprised that
you, in your drunken and depressed state, are starting to
pick a fight. I tried talking you out of it, knowing that
you're a little paranoid, and more picking a fight than venting
a true gripe.
But
would you listen? I suppose we shouldn't be surprised considering
your state of mind.
We
tried talking you down, but you're having none of it. So you
just walked over and gave Bob a shove. We're gonna keep a
real close eye on what happens from here. We might strategically
put a foot out to trip him, or get in the way a bit, but it's
your fight to fight. But you picked the fight, and for now,
we're going to let you vent your rage on Bob the Dink, who
has had it coming for a long time.
Later, you know when the chips are down, we'll be there for
you. Bob's buddies might join in, or Bob might pull a knife.
Or in your drunken state, you might get hit just the wrong
way and need a helping set of fists. Believe us. You know
there is absolutely no way we would just sit at the bar and
just watch if things went wrong and you truly needed our help.
Don't
think we won't be there to help you if that happens. You probably
won't need our help. (Heck, last time we were in a fight with
you, we got nailed with a stray punch). And don't think we'll
enjoy watching the fight, and the shots you get hit with.
We'll wince with every hit.
And
when you get out of this okay, don't think we won't be there
with a cool washcloth, bandages, and a couple CC's of CC to
toast your success. Even though it may not have seemed the
right thing at the time and we think it was a stupid thing
to do, at least you kicked his ass... and he had it coming
to him.
The
next day, when the fog of alcohol is gone but the bruises
are still there, we might be pissed at you for picking a fight
and getting us involved. We know you might never acknowledge
or even realise it might have been a bad idea to pick the
fight in the first place. That might not be "okay"
but that's just the way it is.
kat@adchick.com |